The Development and Stages of Self-Confidence in Children

What is self-confidence?

Ozgen; It can be defined as knowing one’s feelings and abilities, valuing oneself and trusting the decisions they make. Self-confidence develops gradually in the life of individuals. Each stage is unique and its problems are different. As individuals overcome their problems in a healthy way, they lay a brick for self-confidence development. These bricks turn into walls that protect you over time. Individuals with high self-confidence, on the other hand, have a more positive outlook on life. He becomes a happy personality who offers solutions to events.

When does self-confidence begin in children

Self-confidence begins to be gained at birth. There are also scientists who accept its beginning in the mother’s womb. Although the starting point is known, self-confidence does not have a definite stopping point or a stage in which it is completed. Self-confidence is a lifelong phenomenon

The effect of critical processes on self-confidence

Infancy is an important stage for a healthy development and personality formation. Timely fulfillment of their needs, love for the child, messages given at the thresholds of critical periods ensure secure attachment. Separation anxiety from parents is an important test that should be given for families in the first time… Overcoming separation anxiety in babies without any problems is a very important step for the development of self-confidence. Parents should be informed about this critical process. In addition, there are many educational sites that parents can benefit from. In some cases, professional help may be required. It is an important step to pass the critical phases efficiently in order to prevent separation anxiety and to ensure the development of self-confidence in a positive way.

School period in the development of self-confidence

School age is another important critical equal in its original development. Children starting school make an effort to get used to a new environment and to follow a set of rules. With the start of education life, some children may experience new problems. Leaving the family, going into a crowded environment, and the problem of not getting along with his friends… The problems that the child experiences can turn into a situation that turns into a cold from school or even a nightmare. Teachers’ giving positive messages to children and helping them to adapt to the school environment is a very important period for the development of self-confidence. Another important factor for the development of self-confidence in school period is friendship relations. Establishing a good relationship with his friends makes him feel confident. As bilateral relations develop, it becomes easier to adapt to the environment. Children who move away from the family environment, adapting to school successfully and establishing healthy friendships improve their self-confidence positively.

What should be done for the development of self-confidence in children

Allowing children to express their feelings and thoughts is important for self-confidence. Babies try to express themselves. Expression is usually crying. Meeting the needs of crying children in a timely manner ensures a healthy attachment. The behavior of the parents towards the child is very important at this stage. Parents should be sensitive to babies. They need to understand the messages given by the baby well. With the end of infancy and stepping into the childhood period, children want their own thoughts to be given importance. He realizes that he is an individual. Develops a perspective on events from his own centre. It wants to be noticed by the environment. The problem of being blocked is that you do it instead. Overprotective reactions negatively affect the development of self-confidence. Instead of behaving like this, explain why you can’t do it. Don’t get in the way of what they can do. Give a taste of success with little help.

1- Be patient and understanding towards reactive behaviors

Children may exhibit different behaviors and give reactions that they are not accustomed to. In this case, it should be calm and information about the developmental stage of the child should be obtained. This information can give you an idea about the problems and facilitate the solution. For the development of self-confidence, it is important to behave in accordance with the age of children and to respond to their wishes in a language appropriate to them. Clear messages should be given against inappropriate behavior and thoughts. Explanation of why it cannot be done and children’s acceptance of this situation is one of the important points that parents should pay attention to in terms of a healthy self-confidence development. They will have behaviors that they will repeat often. It should be explained in an age-appropriate manner without getting tired of it. If necessary, it should be stated with examples why the behavior will not be done. Everything starts with acceptance, even if it’s a child. Parents should be consistent in gaining behavior. Children notice inconsistent situations and can use them against you.

2- They should be given tasks appropriate to their abilities.

Children should be supported in line with their abilities and should be helped where they have difficulty. But you shouldn’t. Get to know your child well and be diligent about it. Definitely, you can’t, you can’t, do not use insulting sentences with a negative message, such as getting involved in big business. Every child is special. Every child has some special abilities of their own. You should be aware of these abilities and support them. Children should be given the message that I am ready to help where you cannot reach them. Recognizing this support, the child will make even more heartfelt efforts and find the strength in himself to succeed. When he fails, he should be given the opportunity to try again and again. It should be planned from easy to difficult. In order to experience the sense of achievement, self-confidence development should be contributed positively by giving tasks that can be accomplished.

3- Make your child feel that he is an important value.

Value your child. Don’t be shy, don’t be shy about it. Express how important your children’s presence is to you, both verbally and in behavior. They may not always notice your love. Make him feel that you have no reason to love him, that your love is unrequited. At school age, children can sometimes feel like this. “I must be successful to win the love of my mother and father” Not successful, state that the most important thing is himself and this love will always exist. Be there for more in case of failure. Don’t be distrustful of you.

4- Be able to share their troubles without fear.

It helps parents to easily explain the problems they will experience and create an environment for the solution of these problems, and develop a positive personality. Your children should be able to tell you about a problem they are experiencing without fear. Parents should state that they are open to their children under all circumstances and that they will also support them in solving problems by sharing their problems.

5- Do not compare!

Do not compare your child. Every Child is special and unique. Children have different abilities and interests. Giving and supporting tasks to the extent of abilities will be productive for the development of self-confidence. It is normal to experience failure. Criticizing when it is unsuccessful, comparing with others, Self-confidence negatively affects development. Making encounters not only causes jealousy, but also sometimes hurts. Do not psychologically torment your child with the success of others.

6- Let him realize himself

Parents should guide their children in setting goals, but never force them into a mold. Develop opportunities for him to recognize and develop his talents. Empathize. Never say commanding words like you will study at this school in the future or choose that profession. Sometimes it can have the opposite effect. Goals set above their abilities undermine self-confidence. It may cause him to shut himself in. You can cause personality disorder without realizing it. Remember that most of you are free individuals. Pay attention to their preferences. Put their priorities ahead of yours. Offer preferences, help him choose the one that suits his wishes among these preferences. Being selfless towards their wishes puts you in a more valuable place than their eyes. Instead of raising individuals who are unhappy but have a career or a profession, who have a secure future; It’s up to you to raise individuals with strong-footed character. The choice is up to you.

Signs of a lack of self-confidence in children

• Inability to express oneself
• stay passive
• Always trying to stand with someone’s support 
• Feeling unsafe in crowded environments
• Fear of failure in bilateral relations 
• Inability to speak in public
• Avoiding eye contact while talking 
• Avoid meeting people

If such situations are seen in your child, try to take precautions now. Most importantly, consult a professional. Having a troubled child can have indescribable consequences in your future life.

Misconceptions about self-confidence

Children who care about their wishes

There are stereotypes that are misunderstood in society. Children who prioritize their own wishes may have disagreements with their friends. May not participate in games. These children can be leaders in spirit. This situation, when viewed from afar, may cause the perception that a shy person has developed a personality. In fact, such children have developed self-confidence. They care about their own wishes and keep them in the foreground.

Children who don’t like crowds

Stay away from the crowd guys, such children can have high self-confidence. He may prefer to spend time by himself or be with a small group that he can get along with. They don’t accept what they don’t want. It is mostly children whose managerial qualifications predominate. Not every child who is not included in the group can be considered as lacking in self-confidence.

Children who go against their parents’ wishes

Children who do not behave in the way their parents want are considered difficult to understand in society. Free-spirited children know how to behave the way their parents want. They may go against the stereotypes drawn by their parents. Contrary to what is known, such children have a very high self-confidence.