What Should We Pay Attention to in Order to Establish a Good and Constructive Communication With Children?
Communication skills are one of the most basic areas in terms of your child’s relationship with you and his environment, the establishment of character traits and his place in society. In this article, we will talk about what should be considered in order to establish a good and constructive communication with your children, regardless of their age.
Let’s get started. First of all, we will talk about some preliminary preparations necessary for constructive communication. Then, we will talk about the importance we should show to the language you use for a mutual, healthy communication and relationship, and the contribution of being a good listener to communication. This subject is so important to us that we have taken care to devote the next few weeks to this area.
First of all, let’s talk about the things that we find useful to remember and the preliminary preparations for a constructive relationship. In the meantime, you will have the opportunity to discover the support we offer you as the Kidokit team during most of the preliminary preparations.
Remember that your children are children. Be sensitive to your children’s feelings and the reasons behind their behavior. Not according to your own acceptance window; according to their own speed, their own abilities, their own limitations and their own beauty. Loving them as they are; accept and appreciate as such.
Be consistent with your child. Of course, you may have some expectations or some rules of your house. Clearly state these with reasons and be consistent in these matters. Knowing that you are consistent will increase their confidence in you.
Respect your child. Instead of deceiving him or distracting him with little lies, explain the reasons for your decisions and gain his trust. Let sincerity and trust form the basis of your relationship from the very beginning.
By learning the general developmental characteristics of the age groups your children are in, do not set your expectations too high and do not force your child more than necessary. Remember, even within their age group, each child’s learning speed may be different, and each may be good or inadequate in different areas. The important thing is that they reach their potential in the areas they are good at by making correct observations, and they are encouraged in the areas where they are inadequate. They should accept them as they are when they are inadequate; we should be with them to try to do better and support them by providing them with the necessary work, games, toys and materials.
Remember that you are the most important role model for your children. They will learn from you and want to imitate you. Do not do things that you will not be happy to do, take care to do the things you want him to do.
Try to spend quality time with your children. Don’t pay attention to the television or phone during that time and try to focus on it. Do enjoyable activities together.
Pay attention to active listening. When he wants to tell you something, make him feel that your attention is on him. Make eye contact. It is very effective for young children to lean into their eyes and look into their eyes.
Use your body language and voice correctly. How you say it is as important to them as what you say. There’s nothing like a loving and understanding look with a warm and sincere touch. It is also very important to be clear and firm about certain rules when necessary and to make your children feel this. Especially if we can do this with a calm stance by explaining the reasons, we will do a great job. Avoid unhealthy communication in angry moments.
Listen, even if your child is telling you something he has told you before. Especially when he wants to share a topic that excites him with you, try to give him your attention before this excitement ends. If you can’t spare time at that moment, express the importance of the work you are doing at that moment, express clearly “after how long” you can talk to him, and be sure to return to him at the end of that time.
Make good use of the opportunities you can communicate with. Create opportunities for greater communication. Avoid rewards and punishments, but be mindful of appreciation and encouragement in moderation.
Be accepting and sincere when listening to your child. Try to show empathy by putting yourself in his shoes.
When your child tells you something, instead of rushing to conclusions and making a diagnosis, try to find the main problem behind the problem by listening and opening up to you. If possible, give him time to find the solution himself or try to involve him in the solution.
Do not criticize your children in front of others. When spending one-on-one time with this type of feedback, take care to use the correct language of expression. (Tips on this in the next section)
Everyone can make mistakes. Admit when you’re wrong and don’t forget to apologize to your child when necessary.
Do not respond to rudeness or undesirable behavior with rudeness or undesirable behavior. Remember that your child learns by observing and imitating you.
Many of the items on this list can be short to write but rather profound in their importance and impact when applied. Therefore, we advise you to say goodbye for now, to review all the items slowly once again, and to think again about “what am I doing about it” and “what can I do” about each item.